Recently I was asked the below by a fellow industry member

Currently I’m  focusing on building my bank of good open ended questions and trying to get in the habit of documenting reflections and seeking feedback! Any good open ended q’s you find work really well when dealing with ppl who come across overpowering or difficult?

tumblr_ngs1xaMqu51u3bn17o1_1280What struck me first was, that is an awesome short term goal to have and kudos for identifying and putting energy into it. I think anybody at any stage of their career could come back to this reflection point.

My two suggestions for further reflection and practise were:

Humble Inquiry – The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling – Edgar H Schein (Best Resource)

And I’ve found that any open-ended questions which allow the other person to do the below is positive and often comes down to personal style as to the flow of a discussion

  1. Take control of the narrative
  2. Set them at ease with feelings of psychological safety through your actions and guarantees
  3. Focus them on all variables (ecocentric, not egocentric) and not only their role in the issue in question
  4. Propose that there is a shared solution that is required to be identified which is only created with their subject matter experience, buy-in and execution
  5. Allows them to draw or express their thoughts in their most comfortable medium (verbal, written or reenactment)
  6. Allows flexibility to pursue other tangent opportunities identified

16676c763c8774b9ea1951b2f9ba95d5My single biggest tip which rarely fails to take the heat out of discussions or generate some positive reflection is bringing the concept of time into discussions ie past, current and future context. I’ve found many people will regularly defend their past actions with exuberance yet will freely help find a better way if we have to re-complete or help others with the same task, especially when true responsibility and opportunity is afforded.

Looking forward to the future allows us;

  • To be part of the solution and be able to shape decisions which in the past we didn’t have access to (real or perceived)
  • To help others learn from our experience and potential mistakes. I’ve spoken to some and in their mind, this can help justify an error and allow some individuals to move forward knowing the net effect of their actions is now positive
  • Disassociate context and actions and consider alternatives outside of the realities of the past or current periods
  • Allows people to propose better versions of themselves and envision better or different performance outcomes ie hope that tomorrow will be better than today because we are considering and then taking action

I rarely initially use questions which identify what happened or what conditions exist but ask others to imagine how we could do it and then work backwards to reality. It’s those actions which unearthed provide our leaders with a way to create a better working environment with the by-product of increasing engagement and generating an improved internal locus of control feeling within our teams.

So, how do you ask a better question?

Other useful resources to consider to ask a better question

Making safety & risk relevant to leadership. Critical thinker, experimenter, learner & enabler; Strong views, loosely held and builds big things.